Not a day goes by that it doesn't cross my mind
Even though the pictures and notes are tucked safely away,
They linger in the depths of my heart and cast a shadow over me
I wait for time to heal these scars,
But I have found no comfort,
Quite the opposite.
The more I try to ignore the ghost in my past,
The more I begin to see the monster in my present.
I asked for one more chance, and it was granted.
But I knew even then what the result would be.
So here I am, the same. Or maybe comatose.
The absence beats inside my chest
I can no longer grasp for the ghost,
I could never reach for this monster.
I counted the steps I took from the ghost so many years ago,
Even now, I catch myself watching my feet still move away.
Not a day goes by that the ghost doesn't cross my mind.
If I could go back to that very moment,
I know I would still react the same way.
I wish the ghost would've not let me go.
I wish I hadn't let the ghost go.
My clutch had loosened long before,
My heart, my mind, my body were never complete then.
And what about now?
Am I fully one?
Did the sacrifice I made make me satisfied?
Did it make me whole?
I am lost.
I bury myself in work.
I bury myself in the world just to forget, if even for a moment, who I lost.
My life is a breath on cold glass,
And then I'm gone.
My life is a needle weaving in and out of a burning cloth.
Have I compromised my self?
Have I compromised your self?
Not a day goes by that the monster doesn't cross my mind.
I wonder if the monster still remembers my pitiful ghost?
This heart of stone is sealed within his ghost, that is forever buried.
I, myself, have become a monster.
I have walled myself in.
I have locked my desires and cultural dreams in a bottomless darkness.
I want nothing to do with love,
Because love wants nothing to do with me.
Everytime I pass by, it looks away
Oh, but it knows it's me!
I believe it remembers me well.
I still count the steps I take from the ghost,
Because I miss it.
Because it still has a piece of me I can never have back,
That I never want back.